Sunday, November 02, 2014

Heard the one about the Tory Summit to beat UKIP? MPs boozed until 3am, told filthy jokes...and enraged Osborne with this picture

Heard the one about the Tory Summit to beat UKIP? MPs boozed until 3am, told filthy jokes...and enraged Osborne with this picture

Series of rude jokes made at boozy Conservative 'away day' in Oxfordshire
Sir Alan Duncan unveiled a painted caricature of a naked George Osborne
Shows the Chancellor holding an empty red Budget box and a carrot
Philip Davies MP mocked Osborne's Business Minister Matthew Hancock
Said: 'Anyone tempted to lick George Osborne’s backside should be careful as if you go too far you will find the soles of Hancock’s shoes in the way’
MPs had a banquet with free wine and partied until 3am in Chipping Norton
Stayed at Crowne Plaza Hotel in Mr Cameron's Oxfordshire constituency

George Osborne did not see the funny side of an outrageous ‘nude Chancellor’ practical joke at a drink-fuelled summit for Tory MPs.

Shocked David Cameron and 200 Conservative MPs looked on as ex-Minister Sir Alan Duncan unveiled a painted caricature of a naked Osborne during a raucous after-dinner speech.

The painting, showing Osborne holding an empty red Budget box and a carrot, lampoons the Chancellor and his ‘austerity policies’.

It was among a series of rude jokes at an ‘away-day’ for Tory MPs at a £200-a-night Oxfordshire hotel, with a banquet, booze and accommodation all paid for from party funds.

Tory MPs took turns to entertain their colleagues with explicit jokes – and partied until 3am.

Describing his journey to the event with his fellow Norfolk MP, Environment Secretary Liz Truss, Keith Simpson said: ‘I’ve had the pleasure of seeing inside Liz’s red box.’

Sir Alan Duncan also made an obscene wisecrack about fellow grandee Sir Nicholas Soames, Winston Churchill’s grandson.

The Prime Minister led riotous laughter when Yorkshire Tory MP Philip Davies mocked Osborne’s chief ally, Business Minister Matthew Hancock, saying: ‘Anyone tempted to lick George Osborne’s backside should be careful because if you go too far you will find the soles of Matt Hancock’s shoes in the way.’

Cameron was still chuckling the next day, telling MPs after breakfast: ‘I hope you have all got the unpleasant image of Matt Hancock out of your minds.’

The Tory high jinks, which cost an estimated £20,000, were at a gathering of MPs at the Heythrop Park Crowne Plaza Hotel in Chipping Norton in Mr Cameron’s Oxfordshire constituency. 

After party strategists told MPs how to see off Ukip, the real fun started at a boozy dinner on Thursday night. MPs gathered in the bar at 7pm, and then tucked into a three-course banquet – with unlimited free wine.

There were gasps of astonishment when Sir Alan unveiled the painting of Osborne by satirical artist Kaya Mar.

Two years ago, Mar took part in an ‘Austerity Isn’t Working’ demonstration in London.

He said of another of his cruel portraits of Osborne: ‘He has crashed the economy, that is what inspired me. I don’t know a single family who are not affected.’

One MP said afterwards: ‘It was all very weird, Alan made some comment about Osborne’s paunch. Osborne looked very cross.’

Duncan said of Soames: ‘He is the only man who thinks a selfie is a w***.’ Sir Nicholas was not present.

A female MP commented: ‘It was cringeworthy and weird.’

Michael Gove entered into the spirit of the bawdy event when MPs took part in a version of the radio quiz show Just A Minute, declaring: ‘As Chief Whip I must insist MPs do not sleep with one another tonight.’

He added he ‘exempted’ Milton Keynes MP Mark Lancaster. Lancaster is married to fellow Tory MP Caroline Dineage, who was also present.

Mr Gove continued, jokingly: ‘However, I am available myself, and you all know my room number.’

One MP said: ‘No one took offence. It was good fun.’


But another commented: ‘One or two were pretty drunk.’

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